Let me just give you a background of my dad. He was born in a village called "Ramachandrapuram". When he was less than 5 years he lost his father. And at that age he started managing the family estate. Though he never had his dad to care for him nor help him, I wonder how he could manage to be such a good father.
The first lesson he taught me was "self-control". I ate at a neighbor's house. He was not appreciative of the fact that we eat at someone else when we could have got all the stuff at home. I dont know why I remember this, probably because he hit me badly that day or probably because I adored him for his ideals.
During schooling he taught me the morals of how to respect our culture, tradition. He never told me a reason why a ritual takes place in a particular order or why we follow it, but he gave me the essence that a ritual is to be respected and followed. I wonder why it is so difficult in today's world to respect our traditions and follow them. We are not Westerners, we have civilized at least 5000 years ago and we need to honor that and respect it. He taught me that living our daily life but still preserving and following this is the biggest challenge every generation had, and is quite normal. Probably he realized this because of his upbringing in a village and in a orthodox family. Though I never had to live in an orthodox environment, I am happy to get these ideals imbibed without the pain.
I still remember the day in my second class, when I had my drawing competition. Though I was quite interested in art, I never dared to go to a competition. He forced me into the competition and asked me to go draw and come out. I did just that... never used my brain all through. And I stood second in the "Camel Drawing" national contest. I remember the day when I wanted to do join an art class at school. But I was not allowed in the class because I was in third garde and the classes were for students from 5th grade. I was quite disappointed that day. I was waiting for my dad to pick me up, and in meantime I did my first watercolors painting. I did it because I wanted to prove to myself though I did'nt join the art class I can still be good at art. The next day without my knowledge my dad took the painting and showed it to the art instructor. He was impressed and asked me to join the classes with senior grade students. The next event I remember was in my 8th grade, I had the final at the chess competition in school and I was quite tensed. My dad came to my table where I was playing and said he is leaving for home, gave me some money asked to take an auto-rickshaw and come home. He said he would like to be there but that would make me more tense, so he asked just play and come home. He said he would never be bothered if I win or lose. That day, that year I was the school champion.
I still remember the effort he put to get me in my coaching classes for IIT JEE. Finally, I had disappointed him at my both attempts, but in a way I was happy that I got a chance to stay close to him for next four years. When I didnt see through JEE, he was visibly disappointed but he was more worried at the thought that this broke me down completely. I still remember how he used to cheer me up for joining engineering college.
While in college he gave me complete freedom. Its difficult to believe he never saw my college in my four years of study. Not that he was not interested, but because he trusted me. I remember the day when he was quite anxious about my friendships, specially my "girl friends" and all the late night hangouts I was in. He asked my day's schedule and wanted to check on me. I actually shocked him with my schedule and told him, I would not like him asking about what I do, because that was curbing my freedom but assured him at end of the day I would always be someone who he can be proud off. He trusted me in this, and till date never asked me what I am into but checks with if I know what I am doing. My next big decision in my life was about pursuing MS in an US university. I had got one of the highest scores of the college and had got offers from good universities. When I asked him, he mentioned that he would never allow me to US, and never explained why. But that made things easy for me to decide. I don't know if it was the best decision, but it helped me reach wherever I am today.
After engineering, when I got through the campus placement and had to shift to Pune, he was quite encouraging. Though he did not like me staying away from hometown, he understood it was important for my career and for my individual personality.
Once I had an argument with him about marrying a girl of my choice, irrespective of the caste. He politely listened to me and said that even he had the same dilemma when he was in college. But he could never convince himself with that idea and if I can convince him he is quite open minded. He said he was not against marrying a girl of my choice, but he asked what's wrong in following a traditional way of life. I could not answer the question that day and this day. And I am still waiting to figure out that strong reason. :P.
I dont know how I can thank him, but I feel last birthday I have given him the best gift. That day I had my convocation for my MBA degree at IISc. And I was glad that he was there to witness the conferring of the degree.
By writing this blog, I am not trying to deify him. He is just like any other dad and probably in above events, there is a good resemblance to other Dads too!! What I am trying to do by writing this blog is penning down my memories and in a way thanking him for all that he done for me.
Good one subbu. Suddenly it reminded me of the diwali we all spent at ur home and i still remember uncle was encouraging all of us to burst more and more crackers. He kept on telling us to try variety of crackers distributing them personally to each of us. what a day it was :-)
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