Doordarshan [Alive]

               Ask anyone of my age (29 now), about the best soap he saw and pat comes a pick from the good old days. He would choose at least one from the list: Ramayana, Mahabharatha, Chandrakanta, Tippu Sultan, Discovery of India, Byomkesh Bakshi, Tehkikat, Hum Paanch, Mungeli lal ki haseena sapne, Nukkad, Surabhi, Shanthi and UGC. There was creativity, thought, meticulousness and quality in the stuff made in bygone-era. That was the Doordarshan era.

               Ask anyone in his teens about Doordarshan, the only time he might have watched it might be during an accidental flip of the channel. Why the channel is buried deep under? Everyone is still synonymous with brand and quality, so what is the Government doing with it? The Ministry of IT and Broadcasting should spend some time reviving it rather than waiting to wane away its sheen. (IT is not the only thing which survives in the country, Mr. Minister).

               In this day of launch-a-channel-everyday, how can Doordarshan stand out? More importantly how can it help the Government and People of India which it serviced in past (after all the tax payers should reap some benefits from this)? How can it be be trendsetter again? What can be the "evolved form" of the Doordarshan?

               So here is my take on how this channel can evolve to become another trendsetter. In this day of so many local, vernacular channels, there is no need of another soap-channel. Where it can do more justice is a place where India's voice is to be heard and heard louder. It can speak vehemently in US about the jobs created by Indian companies in US and how outsourcing has helped an average Joe get all his home products at such economical prices. It can showcase how Indians are helping the Oz-nations get their doctors in hospitals and software in working. It can showcase in Afghanistan how Indians are no different for Afghan brothers, after all both of us like Bollywood. We can show in Nepal, how India's growth is creating opportunities in their country. It should show in Srilanka and China how Buddhism came from India to other nations and how closely connected we are culturally. It can showcase in Israel, Iran and other places, how we support their cause and extend our empathy to them. It can showcase in Kashmir how a Muslim majority region like Hyderabad has made a mark on the world by accepting the integration into a rich and prosperous nation.

               So how do we do it. First it requires a strong vision and commitment from the Ministry, and I believe if it is clubbed with the IT ministry it cannot achieve this. Rather there should be a separate ministry for this with aid from External Affairs Ministry. After all, BBC programs are part funded by their Ministry of Foreign Affairs. So why not Doordarshan? The second aspect is to do aggressive marketing both in India and abroad. (uggh..my sales and marketing gene is in play now). They should pitch aggressively in the countries of interest, after all our consulates are pretty active there. Then they should also take on the private channels with all aggression. These channels have made a mock of the TV transmission and news. There is no quality or dignity in delivering the news. Peepli [Live] has expressed my thoughts on today’s private channels. I would have been most happy had Doordarshan sponsored/funded the movie. 

Games I play on Bangalore roads

Bangalore roads are the best test for patience. To cut down boredom, to have some fun they are some petty things I like doing. Anirudh is the best company to travel with and most of these games we devised as a joint effort. Read on:

1. Deriding your boss: The rules of the game are simple, keep exposing the stupidity of your boss before the other player. The winner of the game is the guy who has the most stupidest boss.

2. Overtake the finger: This is the most recent addition to our games. We have devised it just today. Show your middle to the vehicle which is trying to overtake you. The person will be shocked and taken aback and would stop overtaking. If someone still has the guts to overtake... kudos to him, he has something serious to attend.

3. Insult Infy: I believe this game can be played only in a major South Indian city, as these are the places where one can find too much about Infosys. Bangalore is one such place, which is filled with Infy buses, Infy buildings, Infy employees, Infy news. So this has become our peev. Keep scolding, insulting and deriding it and get the sadistic pleasure. So you can comment on Infy buses how they ply on the road, the number of infy employees in the bus stand and the shape of the building of Infy. The best comment was that on the conference building overlooking the Hosur road in Electronics city. Anirudh commented on its saying "It looks like a MRI scan machine" referring to the weird circular shape at the center of the structure.

4. Identify the Chutiya: Once upon a time there was a Chutiya clan, the members of which are the most idiotic of the human race. Unfortunately they got mixed up in today's population. So the mission is to identify and name these members of the clan. They have weird characterstics and the names are according to their weirdness/acts. So if someone puts a left indicator and turns right he is a "Left-Right Chutiye". If he skips a signal he is "Lal Bathi Chutiya". If some attempts to get on a running bus he is a "Running Chutiya". The winner of this game is identified by his innovative names he suggests.

5. Analyse her: The rule of the game is to spot a gal and analyse her as quickly as you can. The winner is the guy who identifies and analyses most number of gals. Remember the other person always has the right to question your analysis, so you need to have enough reasoning/justification for that.

6. Chase: Remember the main requirement of this game is that the road should be pretty empty. Because there is a very good chance that you might get lost or get stuck and delayed unexpectedly by playing this game. So the best time to play this game in Bangalore is late in nights/early mornings or during day time play it in your locality. Unlike the previous games, this is a group event and requires cooperation between all the passengers in the car. According to the game one of you will pick a random person from the street and you would start following her/him till the destination is reached or all the passengers decide to call it day. So you take left when he/she takes and you rev when he/she does. This is a fun game and if played quite well, might also scare the person whom you are chasing. That increases the pleasure. This is also the best way to know about the different routes and explore new places which one has never explored before. But since there are very few occassions in Bangalore when there is no traffic even I got to play this very occasionally. Once we stopped at Mc Dies drive-thru and there was this lady at the back who was honking repeatedly. I got so irritated that I thought I will scare her and started following her. Thanks to the co-passengers, Nivi, Meenu and Manoj, we followed her for more than 5kms and scared the hell out of her before we gave up. In another such occassion, I started following a "phirangi" lady, I followed her in my car, while she was walking and finally we reached her home. She was so hell scared that as soon as she reached her place, she ran in and closed the door with a "Thud". :P

See Bangalore roads can drive people crazy, now you dont believe that?

Sorry!! Not interested!!

Being in Business Development one gets to attend big conferences, wine and dine lavishly in luxury hotels, meet who-is-who of the city and if lucky get some media coverage too. Sooner or later one gets so used to all this that it does not lure anymore. The meetings get so predictable. One can see through what is the rationale and outcome from those.

I am a big fan of NASSCOM organised meetings, because they are professional in nature (when compared to CII, FICCI and other trade associations). But in the last fifteen days I have ignored four of their invites. In hindsight when I contemplate about a reason for ignoring these sessions, a simple one liner flashed: This yet another cash dried developed nation seeking to invest in their country, what do I get out of attending that session. Thats not weird, is'nt it? Wait a minute did I say a developed nation? Did I say cash dried?

Twenty years ago on TV, I remember seeing the current prime minister in London and New York pledging all the gold assets and begging to get some money to run the country. I hear, ten years ago NASSCOM used to take trade missions to USA, UK, Japan to showcase the Indian talent and get those companies interested in India. So what happened now? What are the embassies and trade associations from USA (Fairfax county), UK (Scotland), Canada, Japan, South Korea, Finland, Denmark, Germany doing here? Why are they begging Indian companies to pump in money into their countries. Are they not supposed to be the big guys? Don't they still have the "Developed" nations tag? Is it that the developed nations no more signifies that they rank high up in the caste systems of countries?You know all about the recession and stagnation stories.
I will not repeat those. But I felt a boost of my Indian-ego when I had to smirk at a white Danish guy and say: "Your country is not worth investing. Sorry!! Not interested!!". It gave a sadistic pleasure.